cheesy.

iloveyousomuch

i never get tire.

even to spend the [whole] days with you.

and all i want is to hug you

even when you're not turning your back at me.

as we lay in bed.

you are the coolest man i know.

and thank you for keeping up with me

even i am sometimes a jerk.

and has multiple personas.

you are my life now...

all i want is to take care of you forever.

if i should die today

if i should die today

please keep this blog active.

and read my mails and update my facebook status.

(like i am not gone)

remember that i will miss you all.

 

if i should die today

please do not read my old notes

burn if you may

and give my clothes to charity.

 

if i should die today

tell the kids to visit me

on my grave

on my birthdays and halloween.

 

if i should die today

please forgive me

for i was not able to accompany you

on your journey thru life.

 

pancake vinegar

sweet and sour lad ready to seduce you

sleeping again, dreaming again,

half naked lying in bed

as the wind blows out in the hottest temperature.

wake up and share your world to me

been waiting for your resurrection...,

for at least i can hear you speak

and curse the dreams that turns you off.

you're soft and sweet but the whip cream won't melt on you,

you are as frozen as a mud pie...

as sour as the taste of a cryptex vinegar

as if i cannot reach you...

as if you're very far.

isang malaking HMP!

hindi naman ako galit.

minsan kase parang isa ka nang perpektong istranghero

may oras na hindi nagpaparamdam

hindi man lang maisip na may nag aalala sa kanya

kapag napa-ulot sa pagpapakasaya

(ikaw ay) nawawala sa sarili

 

siguro nagseselos din

hindi ko din naman kase alam ano mga pinagkakabalahan mo
kung may kasamang iba, kahuntahan at kung ano anong kalokohan

dahil palaging wala din ako

at mukhang nagiging isang malaking responsibilidad pa

yung pagtungo mo rito

upang magkita lang.

 

siguro hindi na kita kilala

minsan hindi kita maramdaman

may pagdaan na para bang andito ka lang

upang may makaulayaw

 

nararamdaman ko rin na parang wala ka namang pakialam (sa akin)

kung nasasaktan ako, o kung humihinga pa

madalas sa hindi palagi ka na lang nagdadrama (sa buhay)

tungkol sa mga bagay na ikaw rin naman ang may kasagutan

 

hindi ako galit pero may isang malaking HMP!

sabihin kung ano gusto mong mangyari

nang hindi ako nalilito

at hindi ako parang nakikipagkita, nakikipag usap

sa isang istrangherong nagmula sa apopong.

birthday ni mushang itim

isang espesyal na araw para kay Mushang Itim. ika bente y sais kase na kaarawan niya.

pagmulat niya ng mata ay isang sorpresa ang bumulaga sa kanya. ang kanyang mga kuting na supling ay nakaantabay sa tabi ng kama niya. hawak ang party poppers at isang birthday cupcake, sumigaw ang mga ito ng 'happy birthday!' nang sabay sabay.

nandoon din ang kanyang maybahay na si Mushang Puti. sinabing humiling muna siya bago hipan ang kandila sa birthday cupcake.

pumikit siya at humiling.

pagkatapos, agad siyang hinagkan ni Mushang Puti sa labi sabay abot ng isang kahon na naglalaman ng regalo.

"buksan mo," malambing na sabi ni Mushang Puti.

agad naman niyang binuksan ang regalo, at nagulat sa nakita. isang personalized bowtie ang regalo.

ngumiti si Mushang Itim at niyakap ang buong pamilya ng buong higpit.

ngayong araw na ito, nangako siyang ipapasyal ang mga supling sa theme park. kaya dali dali silang nagtungo sa kusina, kumain ng breakfast at nagbihis. isinuot ni Mushang Itim ang kanyang bagong bowtie. naka bowtie din ang anak nilang lalaki, si Ras Haile, na kahawig na kahawig niya noong kabataan.

ang kanilang dalawang anak naman na sina Haruko at Yumi ay naka-dress tulad ng nanay nila na mahilig pumustura.

maingat siyang nagdrive patungo sa theme park. pagkarating sa lugar, sumakay sila sa flying fiesta, carousel at space shuttle. takot na takot naman ang mga kuting sa haunted house.

marami silang napanalunan mula sa mga laro sa labas. may stuffed toys at candy bags. pagkatapos, kumain sila ng malinamnam na mango salad at sundae.

pagod na pagod ang mga kuting. ngunit bago nila nilisan ng lugar ay nagpakuha muna sila ng litrato. hindi matatawaran ang mga ngiti sa labi ng buong pamilya.

sa biyahe pauwe, nakatulog na ang mga kuting sa backseat ng kotse.

habang si Mushang Puti ay nakatulog din habang nasa pasenger seat. pinisil ni Mushang Itim ang palad nito at saka ngumiti habang naka stop ang traffic light. isa ito sa pinakamaligayang kaaarawan ng buhay niya at wala na yata siyang mahihiling pa...

coffee and me

just cannot live without coffee.

 

been drinking coffee since i was a kid.

 

we used to have a coffee farm. i used to go there to help my tatay and nanay (grandpa and grandma in Tagalog) to harvest coffee beans in baskets. i used to wear long pants, bandana, long sleeves and tsinelas to protect my skin against sunlight and massive number of ants and itchyworms. lolo and lola would climb ladders because some coffee trees are high to reach. then kids like us would pick the beans that fell on the ground. it was just like a play for us. like normal kids in our community all does the same. the smell of coffee flowers are inviting too.

 

nothing is much better than morning coffee. the aroma of the boiled granules on kettle much different from the instant ones. sometimes we eat coffee with rice or bread drenched in coffee. we take coffee in any time of the day.

 

every morning we would help our folks dry the coffee beans on nets laid on the ground. just like rice, it should be dried on the sun until the shell turns brown and the beans dry. one has to shake it to test if its already dry. then we will take numerous sacks of dried coffee to the mill and sell it. the sound of the mill machinery is really irritating to the ear.

 

my cousins and i will always play 'kambalan'. a game where we need to gather most numbers of 'twin coffee beans' red ones has better points than the green and brown ones. a primitive game different from kids of today.

 

it is just sad that most of coffee plantations in Cavite are now altered by pineapple farms, subdivisions, hotels and restaurants. most of the citizens now would go abroad or in the mainland to look for work. unlike before wherein people in the neighborhood were all busy with their coffee harvest each day of their lives. our original way of living.

 

today, the mill has closed down. no more coffee dealers in town. our coffee farm was transformed into a villa. and no one else does coffee business anymore. my tatay already passed away and my nanay is already ninety five years old.

 

no more freshly brewed coffee in the morning. just a cup of 3 in 1. or when i am at the office, a tall macchiato.

 

maybe the reason why i love coffee most is because it makes me go back to my roots, to who i am, my childhood memories and how our folks worked hard for us to reach this status.

 

i was a teenage tree *_*

my college life was awesome. something i am proud i did and accomplished when i was young was the fact that i fulfilled my dreams of being in a rock band.

it all started when my then editor in chief sponsored a battle of a band for a cause in college. i was actually 'forced' to join with my then 'disbanded' garage high school band (combo on the run -- what a lame name ) to represent the college publication.

so i begged my ex-bandmates to join me and they thought it was a stupid idea. but then i still encouraged them to do so.

my cousins are gifted musicians so it was easy for us to start a playlist. we covered the song 'Promises' by The Cranberries and Alanis Morisette's 'Right Through You' song.

it took us a week to master the song and lucky our family supported us with money for music equipment and fees for studio rehearsals, transportation and gas etc.

it was the birth of our new bands name:

Instinct.

it was full family support on our first gig. unfortunately we never made it as the winner, however we became instant celebrities in campus after that night.

we earned a lot of friends mainly playing in bands and skaters in school. we also collaborated with other individuals who also joined Instinct.

we are comprised of:

lead guitars: Sosimo N./ Bless U.
bass: Reg. P.
rhythm guitars: Kenshin Barbie
drums: Yazi P.
vocals: Andy P. *_*
guest keyboardist: Eman M.

we joined rock gigs mainly in Cavite. we were always invited in school events. joined numerous  battle of the bands and always won champion and always took home the individual awards for best guitarists, best drummer, best bassist and best vocalist. we developed stage antics and drama too. we also composed original songs.

some playlist that we covered consists of:

Spiders and Inner Vision by System of a Down
Collosal Youth; Soon, Hear and Summer Time by Moonpools and Caterpillars
Not an Addict by K's Choice
Forgiven and Right Through You by Alanis Morisette
NIB by Black Sabbath
Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry
How You Remind Me by Nickelback
Just a Girl by No Doubt
Animal Instinct; Promises and Dreams by The Cranberries
In Bloom by Nirvana
Shine by Collective Soul
Run Like Hell by Kittie
Blue Jeans (version) and Waiting For a Bus by Eraserheads
Awit ng Kabataan by Rivermaya
Wakasan and Minsan Lang by Razorback
Lucky by Kamikazee
Modende by Sugar Hiccup
Pagbabalik ng Kuwago by Kapatid

after almost four years of playing, we then focused on our studies and future corporate carreers. graduated college and worked and permanently stopped doing live gigs. the boys of Instinct continued their music career. and every summer we still play like a band reunion.

right now it still feels the same. like i am still that teenage girl in Chinese hairballs, tongue and nose piercings, red lips,  gig shirt, mini skirt, and green chucks.

this teenage experience is really beautiful to reminisce.  for i was a teenage tree.

2F 7024 Wilson

mamimiss mo yung baha. yung trafiic. yung ingay at init. yung computer shop ni bigote. yung banana q ng olds. yung burger machine. yung walter mart at red ribbon. yung isawan. yung balutan. yung laundry shop ni inday na hindi marunong magcompute. yung yosi sa gate. yung awayan at LQ sa gate. yung pagtambay sa powerbooks. yung ambiance ng greenbelt. yung mmc. si bob marley. si mechanical animal. yung mga pusang nakatali sa waiting shed. yung makati square na pugad ng pirated cds. yung mcdo kung saan ka nakikipagdate at bumibili ng ten-peso sundae cone. yung nakakasalubong mong call center agents sa export bank. yung chow chow. yung beer haus kung saan may talent fee yung gitarista. yung magkakadikit na mang inasal. yung mainit na kuwarto. yung mga luhang natapon. yung mga nakasagutan at natarayan. yung mga basura at magasin. yung turo turong may ipis. yung tuyong lawlaw ni lola.yung taho. yung mga tambay na hiphop. yung gardo verzosa sa poso. yung nakakairitang pasyon kapag holy week. yung maingay na brass band kapag fiesta. yung mga artistang nangangandidato. yung ukay ukay. yung kalansing ng susi. yung amoy ng detergent. yung binalot at tapsi. yung mga yellow at purple buses. yung palengke at limang pisong mango juice. yung bangkuan. yung ikaw habang limang taon kang nanirahan...

paranoya

itinapon ang unang tula na tungkol sayo.

pinakiramdaman ko muna bago ako nahulog.

kung tutuusin, unang pagkikita pa lang para bang kilala na,

sana man lang ikaw ay nauna.

nalulungkot ako ngayon.

sapagkat hindi na kita makakatagpo.

ng madalas.

baka kase ikaw ay makalimot.

at ipagsawalang bahala lahat ng pagsasama

paano kung makahanap ka ng iba?

paranoya or sadayang bigo lang

dahil sa mga pangyayaring dumurog na muli

sa aking puso.

ngunit gayunpaman ako ay nagpapasalamat

sa pagbabahagi mo ng iyong buhay

sa buhay kong masalimuot

na puno ng hinanakit at pagod.

enveloped dreams

i was riding in a jeep going to Ayala this morning when a boy, probably an 8-year old, stepped inside the jeepney and started putting wrinkly envelopes on our laps. the passengers ignored, because it was a normal scenario where kids will get inside a public transportaion and ask for donations.

 

the boy looks dejected and he was wearing no slippers. he was unclean and was on tattered clothing. his round eyes looks blank.

 

the driver yelled at him. and warned him to step out. but the boy took a seat and waited for his envelopes to be returned to him with money on it.

 

the driver was really mad. cursing over and over about the syndicate who uses this kids for their own good. and why the city lets this kids roam around the streets.

 

i looked at the boy and realized how lucky my nephews are, getting all their needs - living with a family, going to school, getting the  latest gadgets - experiencing normal childhood.

 

my thinking was interrupted when the driver suddenly pull the brakes so hard that almost everyone stumbled on their seats. i was lucky i was able to hold on the railings.

 

the little boy collapsed as well and accidentally bumped his head on the metal divider of the jeep. he seemed hurt. he touched his forehead and saw a small amount of blood dripping on his right hand. we all looked at him and blood flowed all over his face.

 

everyone just stared. i was also shocked that i did not know what to do or say.

 

then suddenly the boy just hurriedly stepped out of the moving vehicle. the driver did not even do a plain stop. i tried to help but the jeep was moving so fast. i looked around me and saw other passengers also worried about what happened.

 

i was guilty for doing nothing until my mind was captured by all the dirty envelopes scattered over the vehicle floor as i watched the boy flee away...

 

 

'minsan kailangan mong masaktan upang harapin ang katotohanan'

maaliwalas ang panahon noong gabing iyon. suot suot ni candace ang gray dress niya patungong opisina. naghihintay na si howie sa labas ng bahay. alam niyang excited ang lalaki dahil ilang araw na silang hindi nagkikita.

sumakay sila sa aircon bus at nagkuwentuhan ukol sa mga nangyari nun nakaraang weekend. umuuwe kase si candace sa probinsya kapag sabado samantalang naiiwan naman si howie sa apartment nito sa mandaluyong.

napansin ni candace na masaya si howie, marahil siguro ngayon na naimprenta ang pinakahihintay nitong CD ng banda niya. tatlong CD ito na compilation ng lahat ng music ng binata at ng kabanda nito.

maligayang binuksan ng lalaki ang CD sa harap ni candace. sinambit pang masaya siya dahil sa harap ng nobya niya first time nabuksan ang CD. ipinangakong bibigyan din niya ng kopya ang dalaga.

ngunit ngiti lang ang isinagot ni candace. oo, maligaya siya sa achievement na nakamit ni howie ngunit may bumabagabag sa isip niya.

noong nakaraang weekend kase may hindi nagpakilalang  nagpadala sa email niya ng mga lihim na itinatago ng kasintahan.

mga lihim na akala siguro ni howie ay mababaon lang sa limot ngunit parang isang multong babagabag sa kalooban ni candace.

sumambulat sa email ang mga larawan ni howie habang maligayang kaulayaw ang babae nito.

babae sa nakaraan. na akala niya ay wala nang koneksyon pa kay howie ngunit sa mga larawang iyon ay kitang kita gaano kaligaya at kumikislap ang mga mata ng binata habang nasa kandungan ng kalaguyo.

ilang taon na rin kase ang nagdaan nang madiskubre niya na may namumuong affair sa pagitan ng dalawa. masakit ngunit pinatawad at tinanggap niya si howie. ngunit hindi niya akalain na sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay uulitin pa ulit ng lalaki ang pagkakamali. at sa pangyayaring iyon hindi na yata kayang tiisin pa ni candace.

doon niya rin nalaman kung paanong sa loob ng tatlong taon ay pinaglaruan lang siya ng binata. tuwing wala si candace ay saka naman gumagawa ng milagro si howie.

masakit. mga katotohanan. kasinungalingan. mga awiting akala ni candace ay para sa kanya ngunit iyon naman pala ay ukol sa iba. mga matatamis na salita. mga pambobola. mga panggagamit. mga pagkukunwari. ang akala niyang pagmamahal ni howie sa kanya ay sa ibang babae naman pala talaga nito nararamdaman.

ayaw niya man aminin pero ang tanga tanga niya.

kaya mula sa gabing iyon may ibinigay siyang 'sorpresa'.

pagtapak sa lobby ng opisina. huling halik ni hudas ang iginawad ni howie sa pisngi ni candace. saka iniabot ni candace ang isang scrapbook.

scrapbook na naglalaman ng lahat ng malalaswang larawan ni howie at kalaguyo. kalakip din ang huling liham niya para sa binata.

may pag aalala sa mukha ni howie. may pag aalinlangan. ngunit ngumiti na lang si candace nang hindi maghinala si howie. isinilid na lang ng binata ang 'sorpresa' sa bag nang hindi binubuksan.

sa huling pagkakataon, nagpaalam na siya kay howie. malungkot ngunit pagod na siya kakaunawa. mabuti na na ngayon pa lang napatunayan niyang hindi nagbabago ang lalaki. at minsan bigyan din naman niya ng galang ang sarili niya. lumabas din ang tunay na kulay ni howie. buti na lang hindi niya inialay na makasama ito habangbuhay. dahil si howie ay isang impostor.

nawa'y maramdaman din ni howie gaano kasakit ang nararamdaman niya ngayon.

lies and rollercoaster

like a rollercoaster ride, i gone tired

dizzy and vomitting because of unending

curves , twists and circles

it is hard to tell what is left and what is right

when all i see are lies

everywhere

since this rollercoaster started running

circling in my life

for past three years i do not know what to believe

am i stupid and numb

or am i eaten whole by my feelings

love and trust and hopes

that someday will be a better day

but it all turned out it is an evil ride

when all through this  trip

i was holding a demon's hand

and i wasn't able to understand

that this rollercoaster will crash in the end

and i am glad i stepped out

and realized that

before it stole my life.

 

taxi diaries

first day, taxi with legolas

the taxi driver tries to be funny and accommodating. as if we all know each other. he even excused and asked us if he can use the bathroom in the gasoline station first. along the way he tells us stories that we do not care about. plus, there are mosquitoes inside the cab and he tries to slap it with both hands. he was polite but says a lot of things which is none of our business.

second day, taxi with legolas

the taxi driver, a middle aged man who seem to have never been in a shower for weeks. his hair is shaggy and clothes untidy. the car is a total mess literally. he scratches his scalp and dandruff fall on the seat and then puckers his nose with his fingers. totally disaster. he was rude and seems not in his sanity. thank God me and legolas were able to get home safe.

third day, taxi with legolas

the taxi driver seems not good with directions, we drived thru ortigas and all that crazy streets before we reached shaw blvd. i asked him why it takes him so long to get us to the place and then like a volcano he just burst in anger and said he wants to avoid the traffic. but again i never lost my patience and just stay mum. but legolas told him to just shut up. 

fourth day, taxi with legolas and ces

at last finally, a 'normal' driver this time. he knows the metro directions. is polite and drives safely. good thing we were able to get home safely after a double shift. 

well all i can say is be careful all the time! make sure you know how to protect yourself. be calm and never talk or argue to strangers. you do not know what they're up to.

ciao!

The Three Musketeers

meokeeyuki

meokeeyuki is very brave and adventurous. he loves sports and acting. he is fond of hi-technology. a kind hearted kid that always shares smile to everyone. he loves to play magic tricks. loves dancing and playing musical instruments. he is in fifth grade, slim and tanned. he is fond of drawing and the arts. loves fancy food and restaurants and going to arcade games. he's good on making friends and is generous. he loves [hugging] pillows. he is a sweet tooth and has passion for cooking. he never gets bored on travels and has some thrill-seeking genes on him.

kimkimgumi

kimkimgumi is a cute little boy in nursery level. he is small. has long eyelashes. has small pouty lips and chinese eyes. he often has tantrums whenever he never gets what he wants. he loves to play with toy guns and anything masculine. he loves to take the shower and brush his teeth. and wants his feet to be always clean. he loves watching animated cartoons. his favorite movies includes 'zombieland' and 'how to train your dragon'. he always sings. he loves delicacies, jelly beans, potato chips, kare kare sauce, fruit juice, mentos, hard boiled eggs, chocolate cereal and milk, bananas, brownies and chocolates bars without nuts. he loves to ride his bike, trolley and drives his mini ATV. he loves dogs and camping. he loves to play 'midnight club' on PSP. he is scared of spiders and darkness but loves ghost stories. he shows passion for photography.

kuchichai

her smile will erase all your worries away. kuch is a two-year old cute little girl who loves to smile a lot. she loves to dance and talk. she loves bedtime stories. she loves putting on fake make up and nail polish. she loves brushing her hair with her hand. she has a taste in fashion.  she loves eating vegetables and lollipops. she is sweet and kind. she is a bright kid. 

senses

ninanais ka lang makasama

ayokong masaktan ka pa

muli.

ganun pala ang pagmamahal kapag totoo

at tunay

at nararapat.

hindi mo na iisipin ang sarili

kundi ang kanyang kapakanan

ngayon.

at nagaalala kung mayroon mang mangyari.

iisa na lamang

paghinga pag iisip pandama

umiikot ang mundo

at nagkakaintindihang dalawa.

 

whiner

i wanna give up. but  i can't because im already in the middle of this situation. like i wan't to whine and leave.

it's been three days but it seems longer than that. i lack sleep and time and patience. mentally fatigued.

i should've had made better decisions. well wish me luck! and may God help me.

ang alamat ng silangang kakahuyan [bow!]

paano ba matutunton ang kakahuyang sumibol sa silangan?

maari kang sumakay ng Avis or Hertz

magastos

o kaya nama'y bumaba ng xssing ibabaw

pumila sa jeep papuntang Rizal

at humantong sa nakakatakot na lugar

na kung tawagi'y IPI at saka mag-Cubao

o mag tren papuntang Araneta

sipatin ang likurang bahagi

ng Ali mall at abangan ang dyipni

papuntang pasig rosario.

puwede mo ring gawin ang bahaging Ortigas para rito.

nakakapagod.

nakakastress.

lalo pa sa taal na taga Makating tulad ko.

marahil siguro nararapat lamang

humanap na ng bagong masisilungan

nang sa gayun hindi na umiyak

at magbuwis buhay sa pagtawid

sa malawak na lansangan.

walang pakialam si arvie/walang pakiramdam si anne

walang pakialam si arvie

late na naman si arvie. malabo ang mga mata niya. hindi niya agad nakita si anne na matagal nang nakaupo sa bench sa plaza.

trenta y minutos ang hinintay. lagot na naman siya sa mala tigre niyang girlfriend.

paglapit niya dito, sa halip na magmaktol ang babae ay wala naman itong reaksiyon. marahil siguro maraming tao masyado kaya  hindi ito makapag inarte. uwian na ng mga estudyante.

marami nang kasalanan si arvie. ilang araw na siyang hindi nagpapakita kay anne. paano naman kase nakakasawa na ang ugali nito. masyadong selosa. kahit mga kaklase at thesis mates niya pinagseselosan. isama pa ang mga kabarkada niyang babae na palagi niyang kasama sa inuman.

kagabi hindi niya rin sinagot ang text ni anne. nagpapasundo kase ito sa kanya sa alfonso upang makauwe galing sa isang film making project sa school. ngunit dahil lasing at walang pang gasolina nagkunwari na lang siyang hindi niya nasagot agad ang mga text nito.

two years na rin sila ni anne. nakilala niya ito dahil sa isang kaibigan. dahil sa mga buyo naligawan niya tuloy ito nang hindi oras. gayung sa simula naman medyo nagustuhan niya ang dalaga. cute kase ito at matalino. first girlfriend din niya kaya hindi niya na rin pinalagpas ang pagkakataon.

sweet din si anne. mahilig sa surprises. isip bata nga lang na tipong maliit na pagkakamali lang, pinalalaki agad niya. mahilig magmura. mahilig magpahiya. walang pakialam kung eskandalo na ang dating ng away nilang magkasintahan.

pero gayunpaman pinagtiisan niya ito. nahihiya rin kase siya sa pamilya nito dahil mabuti ang mga ito sa kanya.

hindi pa rin nagsasalita si anne. kaya minabuti ni arvie na yayain na lang ito sa sizzling point restaurant.

naglakad sila patungong restaurant. tahimik pa rin ang babae.

naiinis na si arvie.

pagkatapos niyang umorder tinanong niya si anne ano ba ang problema. wala pa rin itong imik. kinakabahan si arvie dahil baka mag freak out ito bigla. sa gitna ng maraming tao at estudyante sa restaurant.

gusto na magtapat ni arvie. ngunit mas pipiliin niyang hindi na lang magpakita sa dalaga kahit kailan. gusto niya nang sabihin kay anne na pagod na pagod na siya sa relasyong ito. isa pa may natitipuhan na rin siyang ibang babae na kapitbahay nila.

lingid sa kaalaman ni anne ito na ang huling pagkikita nila.

________________________________________________________________________

walang pakiramdam si anne

trenta y minutos na ang nakakalipas wala pa rin si arvie. usapan nila magkita sa plaza ngayon. nais niya lang makita ito upang magtanong.  hindi kase nito sinagot ang mga text niya kagabi.

maya maya lang natanaw niya na si arvie, bumaba ng jeepney. halatang hinahanap siya sa mga taong nakaupo sa benches.

muli, nakasimangot ang lalaki. hindi rin maipaliwanag ni anne kung bakit sa tuwing magkikita sila ni arvie parang napakalaking task nito para sa binata.

alam niya rin na ninais ni arvie na sa plaza makipagkita nang ganun hindi siya makapagsimula ng argumento.

hindi man lang siya sinundo ni arvie sa alfonso. hindi tuloy siya nakauwe ng bahay. alam niya pagod ito marahil sa thesis na ginagawa pa sa site sa rosario. kung magsinungalaing man si arvie ngayon, konsyensya na niya yun.

matagal na sila ni arvie. nagkakilala sila sa isang tugtugan. alam ni anne gusto lang nitong magkagirlfriend. mabait naman ito kaya sinagot niya. isa pa naiinggit siya sa lahat halos ng blockmates niya na may boyfriend na. habang tumatagal nagustuhan niya rin si arvie.

alam ni anne madami na siyang kasalanan. kailangan niya sigurong magtake ng anger management upang sa gayun hindi niya masaktan si arvie. ngunit sa tuwing may ginagawa itong kasalanan hindi siya makapagtimpi ng galit.

may ugali din kase si arvie, masyadong mabarkada. mga babae pa ang kainuman kaya lalo siyang nagseselos. palague ding late at walang oras sa kanya.

mukhang mainit ang ulo ni arvie kaya agad na sumunod si anne sa gusto nitong magpunta na lang sa sizzling point.

pagdating doon, napansin ni anne na madami siyang kakilalang kumakain. yumuko na lang siya at tumahimik habang umoorder si arvie. maya maya lang tinanong siya nito ano ba ang problema.

hindi makapagsalita si anne. naguguluhan siya.

marahil mas mabuti pang tumahimik na lang nang sa ganun hindi na muling mainis sa kanya si arvie. pipilitin niyang baguhin ang ugali niya.

tinapos na nila ang  pagkain. wala naman tinatanong si anne ngunit nagpaliwanag si arvie.

hindi niya raw nasagot ang text kase naiwan niya ng phone sa living room at nakatulog na siya agad dahil sa pagod sa thesis.

tinanggap naman ito ni anne. dumaan ang ilang usapan. nakalma na ang kalooban ni anne. nagkuwentuhan sila tungkol sa school at sa mga bagay bagay.

maya maya alas sais na. kailangan na umuwe ni anne. inihatid siya ni arvie sa sakayan bitbit ang ngiti at pag asa na maayos din ang lahat sa kanila.

 

#1 CRUSH

Summer of 2003.

 

she waited for him under the tree. students passed by as the warm air touches her skin. she knows he is coming. his schedule tells so.

 

suddenly a group of boys comes in. one has a skateboard placed underneath his backpack, one smoking marlboro lights and the last one busy on his phone.

 

she noticed he is not with the boys. and this made her frown. the boys invited her for snacks at the cafeteria which is a 10-minute walk. she tried to hesitate but the boys did not take no for an answer. plus she's already starving.

 

she really wanted to see her man. she even went to the library this morning to get a glimpse of him but he ain't there. now, the classes are closing in and she hasn't found him yet. the day will not be complete without seeing even his shadow.

 

they made their way to the cafeteria. and to her amazement he sits there alone on the corner table, sipping Sprite.

 

it was like a fairy tale with diamonds and crystals on the background. he brushed his hair with his hand and smiled. everything was in slow motion. it was still the same him, with long locks, thin beard, almond eyes and soft little lips. his usual clothing in skinny black pants, vintage tee, black and white chucks, ethnic bracelets, pair of black-plate earrings and red jansport backpack.

 

she smiled back. sat in the stool in front of him. the boys started the usual conversation but her tounge just gone mute. excited yet nervous about this man in front of him.

 

he talked. laughed and contributed some stories. he even bought a pack of chips for the group.

 

she started talking about music and the usual class stories. it felt awkward being the only girl in the group but she trusts them and considers them as friends. she knew him for a few years but she still feels uneasy being around him.

 

it was already 5PM and they need to go home. to save up, they just walked to reach the main town. still, the boys were joking around.

 

the boys took her to the terminal. but before she get a ride, he pat her shoulders and said,

 

"i was looking for you the whole day, i reserved two tickets for you... for our Chaos concert... hope you could catch us..."

 

he gave her the tickets and smiled. she nodded and the only words that came out of her mouth was thank you.

 

it almost melted  her. words cannot explain.

 

the boys said goodbye.

 

she headed for a ride home. while the radio played an old Garbage song along the way.

 

she likes him.

 

it was one of the happiest day of her life.